Sometimes i forgot everyone is facing problems of their own. And sometimes, i get so caught up in my own... misery that i dont see it. I isolate myself on this island on my own, blank and oblivious. There, i don't feel. Not as much as i usually do, when i heard about something happy or something sad. When something someone says, struck a chord or just moves me.
I've been feeling just a bit sad, cause to be brutally honest, i can't find the thing that i really wanted. Now i'm not sure what is it anymore, it's been so long.
Then I've been feeling vexed and usually feeling that will make me upset and disgusted with myself for not being firm and decisive.
I've been a coward this few days. Left emails unread and some texts that i dont wish to see unreplied. For that, I'm angry with myself.
Coupled this with a lil more of feeling unwanted, i kinda need a lil of myspace. Had a good walk for 2hours just about. I thought it through, i think. Wonder when people justify others' actions, who is it really for? Is it self deception or honestly believing that person?
Perception is such a wondrous subject. And you go, hey maybe it's because.... so he/she said that and so on, and there you go, suddenly you feel that the world suddenly becomes so beautiful. I'm not sure which category i belong to, self deception? Or the knowledge that the person you know wouldnt feel a certain way to you?
Belief..
Or Naivety?
So i'm gonna complete Bali trip by this entry so i can upload my spain photos heheh. I kinda like that i'm going thru my pics and wrtiting down my thoughts like i did in aus like 3-4 years back. It's SO fun reading back.
So the last two days, we went for a day of sea sports!!! Banana Boat, Flying Fish, Jetski and tadahhhhhh DIVINGGGGGGG. Lol. I don't wanna repeat i cant swim, but people have told me countless of times that i'm supposed to sink when i dive. -____- But anw, i always like challenges so of cos must go lah!
"Already went kayak in pac ocean without a lifejacket in huge waves already, what more i scared right!!!"
This mum wants something thrilling so we had banana boat first but it wasnt as crazy as the one i had in bintan. This is like just a fast ride? It doesnt have the huge waves and crazy turns i like.
The flying fish was awesome though. The dude orientating the float was so (Y). Had to see the wind change/ velocity and all those cheemology and see when to pull the float to fly!!
We were practically flying 90degrees i could see the sea, sand and water. :)
Then we went for the jetski. I look cool yo. Haha, when i got the steering handles, i just press all the way down like i usually do and nearly flew out of my seat -_____- HAHAHAH.
But i did control abit after that, which i got bored and start to cruise at full speed. Was telling dad eh i press all the way leh. you leh?
And he was like widen eyes, chey, i also!! you think leh!!
Mama looks pro here but actually she went halfway and said it was too thrilling. Yo mum, you're so hard to please.
Dad's always ready for a peace sign ^^
For lunch we drove to a place that supposedly sells awesome babi guning which is some kind of roasted pork that is super spicy but tastes not bad heh.
Then off we were to dreamland!! Apparently beautiful beach. But these are the only photos we got because... Smart girl me, took this stupid video from the shuttle bus which only shows all the rundown houses and rubbish, and depleted the battery completely.... just as we reached the beach. -.-'' -___- :( Sheepish.
And we went to monkey forest, which i shall not repeat the story of monkeys and me lest i get all pissed off, and here's a pic of the bite the monkey took out of my havaianas.
Then our last day before we went back,
We went to have gusto ice cream cause mum found it onlie which is she damn proud of hahahahahh!!
It tastes not bad lah. honestly. Credits :)
