Once upon a time/

Who define definitions?

date/time Saturday, August 20, 2016,8:10 PM

Doodles (1)

So I just wanted to write down some stray thoughts of mine before they go away, 'poof' into the seas of electrical activity.

Was actually on the topic of personalities, which i believed, was super popular back in the old days. And I realised that my personality actually shifted. I didn't wanna use the word 'change' so that was what i previously thought. Then i realised it wasn't the best choice to use the word 'change' as I don't really think one's personality could've changed per se. Let's take extravertedness for example. I was an E then, and now i'm an I. When you look at this situation from a spectrum point of view, my personality didn't change. I used to gather energy from people more than i do from myself, but now i energised myself by spending time alone. This shift could be due to extraneous factors like my living environment etc. That definitely doesn't mean my personality changed, but rather shifted on a spectrum.

Well who knows, I might shift back when i'm back in SG, which seems like the case cause i don't spend much time alone. That said, I still do need my time alone, which is probably why I always feel so drained after a holiday back home.

However, this just leads me to my point that MB is an indicator of your personality (good or bad you decide), but it definitely does not define who you are as a person, and especially not how you should react. For me, it feels like finally, someone has put what I've been feeling into words and that someone understands me.

I have always believed in the saying that "You are who you react". The way you manage situations tell people the type of person you are, in particular stressful/ emotional situations. We could say that some actions could have been excused because they are in emotional distress and therefore acted out of their usual self and then out of line. But how about the fact that they may be just revealing a side of them that no one ever knew existed?

And this, is the beauty of human creatures on Earth. Their complex nature, the suspicious and curious nature of the human brain and the ever dark, unfathomable hearts.

date/time Wednesday, August 17, 2016,3:46 PM

Year 3 Sem 2

So it's Year 3 Sem 2 now, quite funny that I've only been updating my life by semesters instead of days or even months.

Last sem was great, really really great. For one, clinics ended on a perfect note. I realised it doesn't matter how tough it gets going, what matters most is the child's progress on the specific thing you've been working on. Of course, the 'thank you's, unconditional love from the kid, and chocolate didn't hurt one bit.

I don't think i can ever forget that moment when J excitedly and shyly ran to his momma's bag while i was giving him the dino cards that i prepared, to grab something out and passed it to me. I don't think i can forget how he looks. So yup, there's that.

Exams was torturous as usual, but much more bearable with friends who came out for bbq 'just cause we feel like it', and GJ who packed enough food to last me for the week in case i don't have time to cook. So thankful for friends who made brissy feel more like home.

After the sem, went for a short relaxing trip to Cairns, where i felt spoiled and pampered cause i don't have to wake up early and don't have to plan anything LOL. Scuba-ed and saw with my own great how magnificent are the great barrier reefs (from the tiny reefs themselves LOL).

From Cairns, went to Sydney to meet up with the two other C's. 'Twas a good trip, talking about anything under the Sun, taking lots of photos and bunking in weird places. Of course, i need to mention my dandy backpack which travelled the world with me.

Went back to SG for some birthday celebration because family and the girls never forget, before going to Nepal for a volunteering assignment.

Nepal trip was a life-changer. I went there expecting to not make any friends but i'm surprised at my own self. But more than that, I saw how we could help, and how little we could help. But I'm glad I made them laugh, made them happy and gave them hope. I don't think I could ever understand how they felt.

I used to think that if someone grew up privileged and pampered, if he was able to survive without these privileges and succeed in life, that dude has his shit together and that meant something. But i went to Nepal and did away with most of our privileges in life, i really felt that that wasn't even 10% of the hardship they has to deal with. So no, all i could do is smile more (and get cramps), provide them with comfort and be encouraging. You'll be amazed at how a simple touch can get to people sometimes.

If i had the guts, i'll be a teacher on missions. For little kids. But I probably don't. Maybe years later when i see this again, i'd go for it. Who knows.

This sem is quite chill so i guess i feel much more relaxed which might not be a good thing. But i need to learn self-discipline, which i never had much to begin with.

For mid-year reflections, I guess I should not daydream as much although i don't see why not. Daydream are just dreaming and doesn't mean that they'll come true, which i already do know so why not? But i guess i should just do what i feel like doing. So reflections are kinda useless... this does not make sense.

Wait let's start again. One reflection could be that I'll take one step at a time, after who knows who would happen tomorrow, or in the future. Live in the moment!!! Another reflection is don't try too hard. What will be, would be. And what shouldn't, wouldn't.

Ta.