When i see the amount of tissue paper i've used today. Just today. Entire roll of toilet paper, not to mention a few packets of tissue. Was using tissue til i realised i'm gonna spam the entire tissue collection at home.
Alright! I'm gonna continue blogging about Halloween since today's Halloween! Happy Halloween people! <3
..........................
As we were preparing to enter the first station, we were deciding on our grouping. Since we have 11, so we split into 2 groups, 5 and 6. So we paired up and me and char were the last one. God. Then i don't know why, suddenly there's a guy behind us. And i heard him saying he's gonna just follow behind us. Then rach and flo started saying they don't want to be the first. After some arrangement, that guy become the first, and me and char were behind him. Was grabbing his bag, which is bloody big, like mad! Damn useful bag. :) Char wasn't even looking at anything. She even knocked her head twice at the door cuz' the road was sooooo narrow. & there's a guy who swung his knife out, Char didn't see it cuz she was covering her eyes. And it nearly hit her in the head. :O And finally we ended. I was tired, but not from screaming. I think it's from laughing. Cuz' the girls were screaming and shouting. I think there was a ghost inside that offered us Red Bean. So chongying asked, if it's free. So i replied, i guess it must be real too. if not free also no use!
Get to know that guy. He told us his name is Lutfii, then we can't remember, so in the end he told us his another name is Ahmad! :D
Then walked around somemore and went to the second station. It's the Dead or Alive, Wax Museum. Saeyeoh took up the challenge and went alone! *Applause*! Quite a long queue by the time we took that. We were lucky cuz' we came in quite early!
The Wax Museum's not as scary, i think. There's alot of funny parts though! I think there's a ghost who wanted to follow Chongying cuz' he knew she's afraid. Then she was so pissed that she stood on the spot and scolded the ghost, F-off. LAUGHS*
There was a technical fault at the third station, so we didnt get to see it. Went on the skyride instead. Pretty cool. Been so long since i rode luge already. Sigh.
Took pictures with wandering ghosts! They're pretty nice and damn cool. Cuz' we keep trying to make them laugh, but they're damn good. A chinese vampire is really cute and a Vampire looks hot man! :P
Queued bloody long for the last one cuz people's streaming in. As we were queueing, there was a guy that fell into the water in an attempt to escape the ghost. LMAO. The last one was the coolest cuz' of the lighting! I'm glowing cuz' i'm wearing white shirt! But the fog sucks! Made my cough worse. Nearly choke. But the effect is good though. I panicked a while, cuz suddenly florence just disappeared. Went home after that. Fulfilling day!
Yesterday went to Yiyi's house at around late afternoon! Saw casper after soooo long! Then slacked around. Made DIY pizza and chicken wings! (Y) Watched Fated to love you. Ohmygod. That show's a legend please. I still remembered days when I'd be waiting online for it to be uploaded per episode, and feeling so bloody frustrated. After dinner, started mahjiong. Hugs my red shorts!! Won the first two rounds, feeling damn confident. And won overall!! Hoots! Pounding headache, so left earlier.
SOO COOL PLEASE. ALRIGHT. I'M GOING ONLINE TO PLAY WAHJONG ALREADY. :P
date/time Saturday, October 30, 2010,12:16 AM
Woohoo! I wanted to post a nice long post today about Halloween Celebration with class's clique at Sentosa's Spooktacular. But I AM SO TIRED. Should I upload photos or blog about it?
Ah damn, i decided to upload photos! But only part I, i.e spam of photos taken during break between Ben yang's class and Math.
&going to Yiyi's house to celebrate Halloween later tooo! So gotta make this post quick.
For starters, bloody sick now. Full-blown flu. Woke up at 9 today, yet went back to sleep at 12. Yesterday was madness! After class, went for Gems, and took our body shape and proportions. Pretty cool! Dreading the portfolio cuz' i don't really know what to do. Slacked at club til Briefing for participants. Damn sleepy cuz' sick. Then met up with Sillygirl at Vivo for dinner @kim gary's. She ordered fries and i ordered the Super bowl or something like that. Didn't eat lunch cuz' too rush. Their food portions are really big! Met up with the rest. Rachelle lost her phone! Dampened our moods a lil'. But brightened up once we're there.
At the entrance, we were shocked cuz' there's a really long queue. But we already bought the tickets, so we just cut the queue and went to collect. I think they felt glares from people queueing. Laughs. Took the tram.
Pretty scared at first cuz' i didn't know what to expect. Saw a black oil guy scaring others, and went " Oh wtf, why am i even doing this. " But once i saw them up close not that scary. Must be the nightwalk and Ice camp's haunted mansion! Being the ghost to scare people made me not so afraid. (Y)
Chongying was pretty spooked by the blackman though. Went for the First station. We didn't know that was the scariest!
Alright, i'm gonna be bloody late. I better stop and continue next time! I should leave with a teaser saying " Stay tuned for spooky and interesting stuffs at Spooktacular!"
LMAO.
date/time Thursday, October 28, 2010,10:39 PM
Someone do me a favour,
and just kill me. Eff it. I just saw my post dated Sunday, 24Oct, saying Screw my throat, it's supposed to be healed by now. And it's still not well today. In fact, i think it has gotten worse. Now i'm coughing like mad and i can feel my voice slowly leaving me. Ah damn it.
Okay, it's really affecting my brain. Because currently for school, i'm seriously lagging behind. What the hell please. For cell bio, they're at Lecture 4 while i'm still stuck at Lecture 1, or even worse, at the cover page. I gotta keep reminding myself that it's Cell biology, which is all about inside the cells. And it's exactly why i have never ever seen all those terms before. God.
& now the fan's bloody cold. FAN for goodness sake in singapore.
Oh, i just wanted to share, took a quiz in facebook and my results was, 80% of worry in my brain. Screw my life. Yeah, there's alot of corkups currently. I'm learning how to deal with them, so i guess, yeap.
There's too many stuff to do, and too little me. Sometimes i feel like cutting myself into pieces, so i can be everywhere anytime.
I know, to you, i didn't keep my word. For that, i'm sorry. Yet sometimes, i feel invisible. Is that good, or bad?
Yeah, and looking back, i've really changed. I don't know for sure if it's for the good or for the worse, but i could say i don't really like it. I'm trying to adapt myself, and make adjustments. But still, it takes time, and conscientious effort.
Food for thought: What if someday you have to choose between the happiness of someone you cared very much for, and your own's, which would you sacrifice?
date/time Wednesday, October 27, 2010,11:37 PM
Sleep!
Argh. I'm trying to keep my eyes wide open! Bloody tiring today please! I didn't realised it's Wednesday already. And that means i didn't blog for 2days!
Hmmmmmmm, ahh. My brain's not functioning very well now. Poly50 was freaking awesome and hell crazy. God. My eyes needs a rest from trying to identify number 52 from 50times. &CLS got 2nd and 5th. Hurrays! So mad happy. Was jumping around like mad for Team10! Screamed alot too, so yep, my throat IS screwed. I doubt i can sing anymore! :( Ok, that's my greatest fear ever.
Ah, no i cant take it. Just reached home at 10ish after zichar. Nearly died on the way. I shall blog again tomorrow. Have to bring laptop to RWP!! Screw my life. And i'm going jogging tomorrow!! :D
date/time Sunday, October 24, 2010,9:15 PM
Screw my throat. God knows why, supposed to be healed by now. Yet I still have troubling talking and swallowing.
Feel so pmsey now again. Don't know why.
Suddenly got kinda addicted to Miss A's Good girl Bad Girl. Quite long since i've known this song but only now i know the lyrics. A certain sentence caught my attention.
I think it goes like, " You don't know me, So shut up Boy. You don't even know me that well, you only look at me on the outside, I find your gaze funny for seeing me as a pitiful girl "
Oh so true. Don't judge, when you don't know anything. Well, though you will want people not to judge you, did you ever stop to think if perhaps, you are judging some others? Of course, sure you're entitled to your own opinions, but the bottomline is, don't be so quick to judge from what you see on the surface. Take time to get to know people, from your heart. That's how true friends are formed. Stop whining about how hard is it to get really true friends.
Oh well, and i stumbled upon this song during dinner. Nice melody and wonderful lyrics from Singaporean Tay Kewei. I think.
I'm writing a song for the universe I'm sending it out to space If there was a boy who could hear my thoughts Across the street in the window display
I'm writing a song for the universe To rescue me someday I never had the chance to tell my love I loved him since that suit in grey
I'm sailing, sailing In this great pacific garbage patch My love for you is forever Nothing will break me down I'm sailing, sailing You are nowhere to be found I believe one day you'll join me And we'll sail round and round, round and round
Oh is that you I see Illusions they keep haunting me O! tragedy
Her inspiration came from seeing a Plastic Mannequin Doll and thought of the world. Pretty awesome.
Had a hungry day yesterday. Cause momma's biological clock's still pretty much screwed. She sleeps at 6am and wakes at 3pm in the afternoon, cause apparently at 6am in sgd is around midnight in europe. :( So my whole diet for Sat was, bread for breakfast, forced to cook Mushroom soup and biscuits for Lunch. Went to work at around 4ish. Cause it rained, so i told momma that the rain's gonna be terrible to my health due to the haze. So she offered to send me there. :D Fetched baby. Love you many baby for accompanying me. Hugs. Kinda packed for the concert. Didn't know actually there's so many rich tai tai around. I wanna be one next time! I like opening the cans. There's something really satisfying in opening the cans and hearing the pst* sound.
& trained back with baby after work. Spammed photos with new camera momma bought. Hell cool, can see how we look like when we self-take. Reached home and realised i'm hungry. Guilt trap momma by telling her i'm hungry, cause dinner that is provided ain't very nice, so i didn't finish. AND i didn't have a proper lunch. Then she blamed daddy for not wanting to buy bread for today's breakfast. Lmao.
And so for today, went out for brunch, then slacked the whole day at home. :)
Ya know, i never questioned the abilities of Internet ever. Be it controversies about it disrupting school lifes. Hell no.
Reason being, I just saw Maggie's tweet on twitter about Still not doing MicroBio Prac, and i went Holy Shit,i totally forget all about it. It's to be handed up tomorrow. & yeah, i still haven't print my notes out. Good going, Cassia Teo.
date/time Saturday, October 23, 2010,12:01 PM
oh hullo!
Momma's officially back, and i'm still floating! I can't seem to take my eyes of my baggggs! But i wonder where can i bring to. I don't want my Burberry to be squeeze in the morning mad rush!! Sigh. Momma's thoughts the same, which is why she bought the LV, and now have second thoughts again. I WANNA GO EUROPE THOUGH. I don't care, i'm going next year. Damn it.
For this year, gonna haveta settle for second best. Sigh. Hope the cruise trip is confirmed with Yiyi! And Hongkong! Shopping again ^^
Actually i didn't post on thursday, and i sorta forget what i did on that day. Oh. I went to the bluddy gym. No wonder my brain wants to block out the part that gives me nightmare. Went to run and lift weights. No thanks to that, now i have aching arms, butt and legs. On the bright side, i guess i'm healthy! Lessons ended early on thursday cause Cell Bio teacher cancelled Prac :) teehees, was released at 1, met up with Caihong then went to ruuuuun! Then slacked at club til 4ish, went home with Ori and peepz going to westmall! OHHHHHHH. Momma came back on thurs night, and i didn't eat dinner, waited for her at airport til 10ish. That's why i didn't post! Lessons at 8 tmr morning! Went to have late supper at bedok! Had chicken wings and satay. Awesome life.
Yesterday's lessons was okay, nearly died during 2hr of Math, was reminded of my 5 periods of Math class during Sec 4. Horror. Then Benyang's Ideas lesson. Laughs out loud. The lesson was pretty okay, despite during the video i felt a lil' sleepy. But i couldn't say the same to the one teaching. Well... it's subjective! Ended earlier, went to have lunch before going to Gems. Not as bad as i thought, cause once i went in, there's a girl who came in together, and it turns out that she's alone as well! Made friend with her. :) After Gems, rushed to Cine to watch Life as we know it. Or something like that. It.Was.Damn.Funny. Pretty good movie! The male lead was pretty hot, though it seems like he's quite old. Hehs. Walked around alil', and went back to Yewtee. Drove to Imm to have longbeach! Had crabs! Ate til i'm damn full. Admitted some stuffs that my heart wasn't ready to admit, but well. It was clearer when i said it out.
Yes. Attracted, but not love. Not yet anyway.
Then went home as webcammed with cousies and Yiyi til quite late! :)
date/time Wednesday, October 20, 2010,6:11 PM
Row a boat~
I have a new goal in life already!
I shan't comment much on why i have this new goal. But yeap, my goal is to earn enough money for my parents and I, then i'll quit my job and buy a house in suburbs somewhere nice, and lived a happy life ever. I don't need alot of money, cos I reckon i'll raise some cattles and plant vegetation. Just enough for my parents so they can enjoy life!
That way, no conflict, no troubles, just me, the nature and animals :)
Well, i can't say i don't enjoy having money and bags and all those luxuries, but i can't understand the pursuit for wealth. What use does money have if you're not happy? Of course, people say once you have money, you'll be happy cause that's what you want. But how can these materialistic needs make you happy?
Anyway, today was pretty alright. Would've been better if the freaking cramps's gone. Esp worse this month cause of the haze which screwed up my throat, so i can't eat chocolates.
So, deal with the pain.
Lessons at 9, guess what. I'm ON TIME. *Hurrays* T11B suck cause their air condition is really cold to the max. Coupled up with cramp, i'm surprised i didn't faint. Didn't pay much attention cause i'm concentrating on ignoring the pain. Then went to settle some Interaction Race stuff at club before meeting Zoe and Rach for lunchhhh. Went to Design Fiesta, pretty alright too, then drew henna drawing myself on myself for the first time!
But after washing, it's like half gone. :( Kinda proud of my handicraft though.
I'm aching alllllllllllll over.
Anyway, been reading Project Might online. It's a series of stories which started from Her Hero and His Love, and i still like Mythias Might stories the most!
Gonna boycott now as i told baby, and hope for my Mythias Might to come along. (Though that's impossible), if he doesn't then i'll remain a spinster!!!
date/time Tuesday, October 19, 2010,9:57 PM
Eff the Haze.
I AM BLOODY PISSED OFF WITH THE HAZE. WHAT.THE.SHIT.
Sorry for the vulgar beginning, but i have this need to vent off my anger, directly at the haze. It's making my cough worse, itchy throat itchier, shortness of breath and my eyes drier, so uncomfortable with my contacts. And Yingsin had to tell me that Adhi got Eye Infection before of the haze before, which made me sooooo paranoid that i immediately put on my hoodie and walked heads down for the rest of the day.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Okay, well, i think today's kinda weird. Cos ya know what! I realised that clothes really affect your mood. Had this urge to wear my Sunny, Yellow Hoodie to school today. Made my mood so sunny too! So i guess when i'm feeling down, i should wear that.
BUT!
It was sucha unlucky day today.
1) Started when it rained in the morning, i was preparing to wear my hoodie to school! Then it stopped, and i had to carry it there instead.
2) My clock at home was actually slower, and there was i thinking that i won't be late for school today, and being all happy over it.
3) Reached JE, train that came was Do Not Board, so i was even later. (But that doesn't matter, cause i waited for Flo.)
4) Realised that I had dip plus in the LAB, not T6, so haveta wear shoes, yet i was wearing sandals.
5) Realised my lunch break was at 2-3, which dinner break is 4-6.30. (No, i'm not hungry so easily!)
6) Changed shoes with dear, and her shoes damn big so i got double blisters now.
8) The school's printer damn screwed up. Wasted money and papers & spent like close to 2hours there. & i didn't print anything. It's so not printers day today.
7) Found out it was okay to wear slippers into the lab cause it's after school.
8) Had to walk home without plasters with the blisters!!!
9) Nearly got killed by the haze.
See!
Despite so, my mood still is kinda okay! Should be because of my hoodie.
And i feeeeeeeeeeel so pampered. Cause although i have soooo many shoes and bags and stuff( I think so lah), momma's still gonna buy for me. :) Happy yet feel so guilty. Sigh. What the hell too.
date/time Monday, October 18, 2010,11:34 PM
Silence hurts as well as cruel words do.
Hi there!
Well, had the ICE CAMP OC outing on wed! Made sandwiches before going there. And i made a groundshaking discovery. My skill with a knife is limited. Guess i inherited that from my mum. But i think i'm better than her, at least i had the sense NOT to cut myself with it. So there!
Lugged the sandwiches and books to Lot1 to return my books and borrowed a book to kill time on the train. Then went to meet them. Oops, i'm late. Sit, chat, eat, fly kite, volleyball, monopoly deal! Dilly dally til around 8ish. I'll tell you straight, please don't go Marina Barrage if you're in a hurry. What the hell, we spent more time waiting for the bus to come then we play!! Alright, that's a lil' exaggerated. But you get what i mean. Went Raffles then to buy drink. White mocha Frap! I'm always drinking and eating the same stuff for the particular kinda food i realised. White chocolate, Cookies n' cream, and so on and so forth. So stagnant. But that's only for food and my preferences. At first we're a lil' tired cause we're thirsty, and drinking coffee, me and kexin's like jumping/hopping around like rabbits/kangaroo. Then calling Wenzong as Xiaxue, and our Big sister. Laughs out loud*! As we're walking back, me and kexin's talking about boyfriend material and stuff. And ours kinda same! As in appearance! Tall, tanned and lanky. Don't have to be really built, cos then it'll be kinda scary. No offense though. Though she don't want Him to be too tall. Giggles* Okay, that's pretty retarded. But i guess even if the appearance attracted me, i'll need to know him better! But the spark must be there definitely. So far, nopes! Sigh. I think i'm gonna die a spinster as i told Mich yesterday night. What to do!?
Okay then, about thursday, met up with Dear and Baby at Vivo after lunch. They went to grab Kim Gary's, and i've promised Granny to have lunch at home! Reached and spammed their phone like crazy! Everytime go out with them see them keep taking out phone to message, then when i call them don't want to answer. :( Well, shopped around, didn't see anything that caught my eye. Made a Personalised Keychain! Love it! It's white and silver, and bears a charm of my horoscope! Then as i've brought bubbles, went to skypark to slack. Blew bubbles til we were outta breathe, and spammed photos. I don't know why, but i'm getting more and more boyish!! Shucks, should really start to wear skirts, but it's kinda uncomfortable. See, i even think like a guy. *Shakes head*
Suddenly thought of a quote on a bag i bought before " Why be girl, if you don't take advantage of it." Okay, it's alil ridiculous and no link. But i guess, i should take advantage of it. Only that i dont see them as advantages at all. I think i can fight better if not as good as a guy! Hmpf!
Yeah, after taking the loads of pictures, went back!
I finally completed the post!
Well. School's officially started. Not very overwhelming, thankgod for that, because today's lesson starts at 12. And Larry just sent a wonderful msg stating that, the briefing at 8am tomorrow is not for us! Woohoo! *takes off shirt and runs around whooping* See. That's why i said i'm getting more and more man. Okay. I didn't mean that.
Interaction race is starting to stressed me up, but ultra thanks to Aqil for convincing Gados to join!!! 6 down, 2 more to go! Come on girl! Yeah, it's a girl.
& i wanna get all the clubstuff done before my timetable really went mad.
For your information, my classes on Tuesday starts at 8, for even weeks, and ends at 830. *Rolls eyes to the ceiling & sigh*
Not to mention my Gems, on friday. Yeah yeah, i get depressed whenever i think of that. Optimist in me, told my inner self it's an adventure. Yeah.. Right. If it's backpacking it's still okay!!! Sigh.
&Chongying that silly girl HAD to rub it in by suggesting to go Ice skating on a friday, cause ALL of their gems are on WED. Screw my life.
Other than that, i guess my timetable's pretty okay, no breaks, but it's more time saving, once i end i can go home!
Oh, and i got a duper cute teacher for IO chem. She's really really cute, laughs over the slightest thing. For exanple, she draw a cinema, and a seat for two people, and places a Boy and Girl inside. Then she started giggling. Seriously, i never heard the class laughing so loudly.
And ya know, she's really nice. After hearing that some of us never grab our lunch, cause our practical is supposed to be a briefing, so we thought it wouldn't last long, and we could grab lunch before the next lesson, she let us go for a 30min break! How cool is that yo!
Oh, also, today after lesson, Flo's damn funny. We were waiting for the lift, and didn't really noticed why it was taking so long, then we realised she didn't press the button at all! And she's standing practically next to it!! And when she finally realised, she pressed the *up* button. *faints*
& guess what, Momma's bought not one, but TWO bags for me!! Hello Burberry, Hello Longchamp limited ed! :) Me gonna hug you to sleep when you get back!
Toodles!
date/time Sunday, October 17, 2010,11:13 PM
School is starting..
And no, i'm not digging it. Sigh.
To make things worse, suddenly got the mood to download songs, and Sogou had to be down of all times. Worse still, coughing now. Argh!!! I actually have loads of things to post, and even if i don't i usually will crap some nonsense. But Sogou really made me so pissed off and effed up that i don't have the mood to continue!
Moreover! Webcam with cousies :)
So, toodles!
date/time Saturday, October 16, 2010,11:22 PM
Palm tree can never replace Pine tree at Christmas.
Hi there, sexy legs, are you breaking soon? Okay, forget the sexy. Holy shit, i walked for the whole of today and guess what, surprise surprise, i have 2 blister, numbed toes and aching legs. Great.
First, shall blog about yesterday's stuff. I'm always saying i have another blogpost and about my outing, but i seriously do! It's just that as compared to writing about my outing, i prefer very much to write about my thoughts. It keeps my mind clear and focused. Well, maybe i'll saved it up still.
Didnt went to Bugis, cause i felt that i've been going out too often. Big revelation, but i at least have the sense to act as what is expected of me! So, slacked at home, read Online Stories. I'd probably mentioned before. Her Hero and His Love. So apparently the author has decided to continue the story, he rewrote certain parts and added the Specimen 2 to Specimen 5. Well, after reading the second one, which is mostly about the KoreanPop- Snsd. Honestly, I was quite disappointed. Well, one guy, no matter how suave, handsome, charming, lethal, and powerful he is, when surrounded by 8 giggling girls, and confusing names, don't attract me. I spent half of the time trying to make sense who is who. Sigh.
Then got ready to go to Yiyi's house for Popo's birthday celebration. Met up with C and M (PS: i realised this sounds like Me and my bro) at clementi's Koi and cabbed there. Well, slacked, chatted, and eat takeaway Zichar. Unadulterated joy of simply belonging :) So looking forward to Halloween!
About today i'll blog about it another day. Cause i'm really really beat. But one last thing, I'm giving up my fantasies. I'm not so sure if i could succeed, but at least, i took the first step. It wouldn't do for me to get distract now, and by right, i shouldn't be.
Must be all the drama and romance novels! Sigh. I can't stop myself from reading them. But, stop weaving fantasies. As said, they're fantasies.
date/time Thursday, October 14, 2010,8:19 PM
I'm done.
With grumbling.
With emo-ing.
With being sad.
It never ends. To be exact, shit never ends. So, as i was walking back home today. I looked around me. I saw the cars whizzing past, i saw people crossing the road, i saw people walking dogs, little kids rushing home, the sky's so blue, and the moon so bright. It's life.
& i thought of a quote.
"When life gives you lemon, make lemonade." Bravos to the guy who said this.
So i thought,
When life gives you shit, use it as a fertiliser to grow something great.
It's better than grumbling about it. When the tough gets going, be tough. If you're gonna be grumbling, moaning and depressed over it, i can tell you for sure, it's gonna more than tough, buddy.
I don't know if i'll succeed, but i'll give it a try. I'm sick of writing all those emo shit down, although they do make me feel better because it is a place for me to vent my anger. But when enough is enough, i'll move on.
Ohyeah, i'm still thinking if i should make this public, i can't decide! I'm so indecisive. Alright, probably not.
By the way, i saw something on the net just now regarding Macdonald's.
"Vladimir Lenin, King Tut and the McDonald’sHappy Meal: What do they all have in common? A shocking resistance to Mother Nature’s cycle of decomposition and biodegradability, apparently."
Apparently a photographer in New York bought a meal back in April to see how would it hold up against time.
Oh horrors. I'd say i won't ever eat Mac's for the rest of my life, but i couldn't do that, cause i know i will. Couldn't resist temptation. But again, i'll try!
Wow, seems like TRY is the new word for me. Oh.
Wonderful song from the movie Bridge to Terabithia. Brings back an awfully load of memories.
You're scared you'll fall sometimes it seems impossible but your hopes and dreams are closer than they seem Why not? Give yourself a chance Nothin's gonna hold you back Everything you want is right there waiting Whatcha wanna do Gotta have some faith in you Don't you know That you can have it all
If you TRY AND YOU JUST BELIEVE YOU CAN YOU WILL REACH INSIDE DON'T BE SCARED TO DREAM YOU'LL NEVER KNOW UNTIL UNTIL YOU TRY JUST TRY Youre fears..and doubts They find a way to break you down But its not.. the end You get right back up again Why not? Give yourself a chance Nothins gonna hold you back Everything you want is right there waiting Whatcha wanna do Gotta have some faith in you Dont you know That you can have it all
If you TRY AND YOU JUST BELIEVE YOU CANYOU WILL REACH INSIDE
DONT BE SCARED TO DREAM YOULL NEVER KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY
Whats the matter with believing that you can do anything. Take control and make the future what you want it to be Thats when you'll see
Another song from that movie.
Have you ever seen the sky so Beautiful, colorful Wide and wonderful Have you ever felt the sunshine so Brilliantly raining down Oh the unity
Have you ever wanted more? Wanted more?
Youve got to keep your mind wind open All the possibilities Youve got to live with your eyes open Believe in what you see
Think of all the days youve wasted Worrying, wondering Hopelessly hoping Think of all the time ahead Dont hesitate, contemplate No its not too late
Have you ever wanted more? Wanted more? Dont you know theres so much more
Youve got to keep your mind wind open All the possibilities Youve got to live with your eyes open Believe in what you see
Tomorrows horizons full of surprises Dont let them take your dreams away
Youve got to keep your mind wind open All the possibilities Youve got to live with your eyes open Believe in what you see
Youve got to keep your mind wind open All the possibilities Youve got to live with your eyes open Believe in what you see
Youve got to keep your mind wind open Believe in what you see
Youve got to live with your eyes open Believe in what you see
I think the lyrics are damn awesome!
PS: My daddy spells Daughter as Dotter. Rolls on the floor laughing my ass off.
PPS: "Cancers are always looking for family and warmth. They need to hold on to something real, something concrete." How true.
date/time Wednesday, October 13, 2010,8:09 PM
Wonders of Chocolate!
Ahh, hello hello hello! Pretty tired today, quite a number of things to blog, but i kinda forget all already. Think it's because my brain is working overtime! Oh well, will just share with you guys the wonders of Chocolate!
I never actually believed it when people says chocolate's the best when you're feeling down/emo/sad and whatsoever bad moods you have, and now... I do! Reason being when i was working at Uniqlo, to be honest, the first day was really really bad. Like to the core. It could easily be my worst working experience, but none about that now. Overall it was a pretty good experience.
As i was saying, chocolate, to me, taste okay. I prefer sweet stuff and chocolate leaves a not-so-nice taste in my mouth although it's sweet at first. So those who know me well, will know that i prefer white chocolate and sweets!
So, one day during lunch time, when me and xinni were feeling kinda down cos' of work and the lack of food at Ion, because all the stuff were bloody expensive. Like hell, i ate fried beehoon with curry and egg. So we decided to give ourselves a treat and bought The Icecream. It's situated at Ion Basement 1, i forgot the name of the store. But it's a Japanese Ice cream and as usual, bloody exp. I think we shared a cone and what, it was like 4bucks per person. Well, we ordered the normal(vanilla) and added chocolate sauce on top. Oh my god, i could actually salivate when i talk about this, because it is just how good the ice cream was! It lifted our spirits up like immediately and all we could say is how chocolate really really lifts one's spirit up.
So, next time when i'm feeling down, i'd be sure to eat some chocolate/ ice cream. Which ever it is, it's hell yeah awesome. :)
And i actually went to google up Chocolates, and here are some of the results I found.
Noted sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer says of this "wicked pleasure" that "the taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex." The reason? Chocolate stimulates the release of endorphins, natural hormones produced by the brain, that generates feelings of pleasure and promotes a sense of well being. Chocolate may also make a person feel better by directly interacting with the brain. One of the ingredients in chocolate is tryptophan, an essential amino acid needed by the brain to produce serotonin. Serotonin is a mood-modulating neurotransmitter, the brain's "happy chemical." High levels of serotonin can give rise to feelings of happiness. (1,3)
I actually have read about the secretion of serotonin which is a neurotransmitter in our brain that stimulates the Happy feeling, but i never really believe it in until now. Laughs out loud really.
Many people consume chocolate during moments of emotional distress, for its comforting properties, ability to improve mood and restore a sense of well being. The comforting, mood-elevating properties are most likely caused by the release of endorphins resulting from chocolate consumption.
Right, anyway, i was comtemplating about making my blog public, but i can't find a way to lock up my previous posts, so i won't really leave the link out, but if you asked me, i'll tell you. Just don't ask me anything about it.
Currently, pretty satisfied with my life, but i really hope it would last. Cause i always got the feeling that once you're happy with your life, something would come along and eff it up. No joke please.
Alright then, that's all for now!
date/time 12:10 AM
Taking one day as it goes.
*Yawns*
I'm really tired now, though i don't know why.
And i just thought of something, the chances of people who stays up late, as compared to those who sleep early, have double the probablities to see 11.11 and 12.34, which is said that someone's missing you, or your wish will come true. So, people who sleep early are at a disadvantage!! Lesser people miss and lesser wishes being realised! It's so mean.
Okay, that's really random. Anyway, i'm just waitin for my hair to dry before i sleep, so i thought i'll just post a short one. I just cut my hair today! Mad happy because now my hair is healthy and feels good. Mad sad because i actually told the person not to cut my fringe so short, if not i'll look freakin childish, and she said, okay. Yet, it's bluddy short now. Sigh. Mad sad x2 because now most my curls are gone, it's already half gone, now it's 80% gone, my money also 80% gone, taking into mind all the depreciation due to time. Hehs, it's POA, i still remember! The causes of depreciation: Wear and tear, ... , obsolescene.
Okay fine. Yeah, went to cut hair with Xinni, then had lunch at Amk. Went to Cwp first, but under renovation and all the shops we need are not there. Had popeyes! Was pretty hungry. And we had to walk quite long to reach there. According to Xinni, my lips were quite pale. Didn't know that will happen when i'm hungry. Thought usually hungry=angry.
Ya know when i walked past Koi, i was quite irritated at the number of people queueing for it. Sigh. & I kinda prefer Sweettalk's PassionRed. I think it's because i drinked too much of Koi.
Then met up with the Cls peeps, off we go to Ori's house! Man! There's like two dogs, a slow lorris, or however that is spelt as, and plenty of tortoises! Thanks ah creamer, for scratching me. Think she was too over-enthusiastic. Slacked and played Monopoly Deal. (Y) Til time for steamboat! Everyone's standing up and we eat, and we saw a really disturbing scene. Well, shan't say it out. *Shudders* Am looking at tortoises a different way now! After dinner, played Asshole Big2. Lost all the way. Lousy cards ttm. Took photos, got scared by the tortoise. -.- Trained back! Kinda tired!
I really shouldn't think so much! Toodles!
date/time Monday, October 11, 2010,2:22 PM
Sighsighsigh.
SighSighSigh.
I cant help it but to feel sorry for my own stupidity. I can't believe it. I forget to use IE to apply for my GEMS. & stupid me kept on trying the apply from chrome, thinking it's the server fault that it has jammed. What the shit is that you tell me. And it aint a good feeling knowing that, the GEM that i want, actually could be mine, if i use IE. Ohmygod.
Argh, slacked for the whole of yesterday, yet i didn't blog. I think if i went out, i'd have more feel to blog. Weird. Anyway, had a meeting on friday for Interaction Race. Settled some stuff and slacked around Club. Well, i have another meeting today too. Then went Sentosa with the gang. Kinda weird, cause it's all year 2s and grad people there. Nothing to really talk about. Sigh. I guess i might never blend into them. Is it that i didn't want to, or just we don't really have much in common?
That made me realised how fortunate i am, to know my BFFs.
Met up with Mummy and Daddy for dinner before mummy flew off for Europe. Double Sigh. I could have went with her. Or not.
The next day, went Zoo! It's been so long since i've been there. Kinda excited. Got to know that Someone's working there. & i actually messaged Dear to ask if I'm a stalker. Laughs out loud. At night, met up with Bro and friend for dinner. Then went up to arcade to play our usual game. Still as fun, though not as enthusiastic to get the high score.
My candle-playing still on hold. I'm falling into that mood again.
date/time Saturday, October 09, 2010,10:49 PM
Reality checks
Aloha!
I have actually alot of stuff to post about, because i've been busy for this few days! Which is refering to yesterday and today.
But first i actually had this weird dream/nightmare yesterday night, and it actually freaked me out because it's the second time.
It reminded me of the time when i had recurring nightmares. Though that nightmare is quite mundane if i'm not wrong, just winding routes and the other i don't remember. The dream i had yesterday was quite real, cause i actually felt as in i can't breathe. Okay, i should probably explain how the dream goes.
Oh, and usually i don't remember the dream much after i wake, this time round it's pretty clear. Etched in my memory man!
It's roughly about me and a few key characters, whom i've forgotten which is a good thing, because i read somewhere that you don't dream and remember the person, if not you'll get confused between the reality and dreamworld. And, to continue, we all have to die because of something. It's either we kill ourselves, or something worse will kill us. So i had to watch everybody die, til there's only me and a few survivors. We wanted to settle every thing before we die, like arranging the tables (yeah, i know it's random) and etc, i can't remember that clearly. I remembered I didn't want to die, but i was anxious to kill myself because i didn't want to get killed by that something worse.
This part has two parts, because the first time, I sliced my heart with a bluddy sharp blade, because it will hurt less and kill faster. Then i realised i'm slowly dying but i can't bring myself to plunge the knife in. Then i saw the others slitted their thumb/wrists. And slowly dying. My last thought before i woke up with that we're all slowly dying, what if that something worse kill us first? And i actually experienced the throbbing pain of my heart when i woke up.
When i went back to sleep,the scene was someone/something came out. I remembered that person clearly because it was someone i know and remembered. She wanted to play a game with us and we had no choice because she's powerful. I asked her then, was she the reason why everyone had to die, and if i lost, will she kill me? At that point of time, i remembered while i was moving the stuff, i stepped on something, and my feet hurt. Then she laughed,( it's a cute laugh somemore) and replied with, Oh, you're cute. And started strangling me. I tried to help her by clenching her hand tighter around my neck cause i knew i can't bear to kill myself.
The most important point is til the last moment, which i don't know how long is that, i didn't manage to die, she let go of my neck, and i actually reminded myself it's a dream. But i still can't breathe, and my feet still hurt. Despite that, my mind was clear, and i know i won't die. I didn't want to open my eyes because i wanted to know what would happen. In the end, i did because i really was suffocating. My feet was hurting because it was stuck in the side of the bed. Rolls eye yeah, but I'm quite intrigued about the whole dreamworld after the night.
Therefore! I went to research a little about such things! Google is my new BFF!
What i found out was, about Lucid Dreaming, which is being awake to the fact that you are dreaming. This awareness can range from very faint recognition of the fact (which is often too brief and nebulous to be considered truly lucid) to something as momentous as a broadening of awareness beyond what has ever been experienced even in waking life.
Lucid dreams usually occur while a person is in the middle of a regular dream and suddenly realizes that she or he is dreaming. The person is then said to be "lucid", and may enter one of many levels of lucidity. At the lowest level, the dreamer may be dimly aware that he or she is dreaming, but not think rationally enough to realize that events/people/actions in the dream are not real/pose no threat. At the highest level, the dreamer is fully aware that she or he is asleep, and can have complete control over his or her actions in the dream. However, with low mental control your decisions could be biased not by your opinion, but by your brain. You can control your dreams using the lucid dreaming methods that follow.
Okay, pretty cool huh. I guess i'm at the lowest level. But how do i explain the feeling? It's so real. *Shudders*
Or maybe this happened.
Try Stephen Laberge's mnemonic induction of lucid dreaming (MILD) technique.
Set your alarm clock to wake you up 4 1/2, 6, or 7 1/2 hours after falling asleep.
When you think you have remembered as much as you can, return to your place of rest, imagining that you are in your previous dream, and becoming aware that you are dreaming. Say to yourself, "I will be aware that I'm dreaming," or something similar. Do this until you think that it has "sunk in." Then go to sleep.
If random thoughts pop up when you are trying to fall asleep, repeat the imagining, self-suggestion part, and try again. Don't worry if you think it's taking a long time. The longer it takes, the more likely it will 'sink in,' and the more likely you will have a lucid dream.
FYI, this are informations on how to lucid dream, though it came naturally to me. Maybe it's because of that! Only that i'm not awakened by my alarm clock, it's just the jolt.
But after reading the methods, it makes me kinda scare that i may go out of control or can't wake from my dreams. Sigh, i think i've watched too much Inception.
Example: Try marking an "A" (which stands for "awake") on your palm. Every time you notice the "A" during your waking hours challenge whether you are awake or asleep. Eventually you may see the "A" in your sleep and become lucid.
What if even when you see the A in your sleep and you thought it's in reality and you don't ever wake?
But actually i think i should stop asking this kinda of questions. Until i really done my research on this topic, and know for sure i didn't misunderstand the sentence and this is not a stupid question!
Okay, toodles for now. I'm gonna continue to my research!
Hoo boy, realised that i've been blogging every single day, period. Claps for me please! Wonder how long my enthusiam can last. But I kinda liked writing my thoughts down, freely as and when i like it, because i feel safe that only me can read it. Maybe later on, i'll expose it. Currently, let's just leave it a lil' secret heaven of mine. :D
Firstly, I realised that my posts are kinda wordy and boring, because i never ever posted any pictures up. But to be honest, i hated posting pictures, because firstly, it takes up alot of my time(and i'd rather spend it on watching dramas) and to make things worse, it's always laggy and full of problems. So there. Unless i have really pretty photos to share, or when i make this blog known, i'll probably, and it's only probably, post SOME photos up. Teeheehee.
Secondly, I read through my previous posts yesterday night, and I really don't know whether to laugh or to cry. Seriously, what past do we all have man! Example?
ii used tu p0st liike dis. And like this SIAAAHS, can you BELIEVE it arhhs!!!
Okay, i shan't actually laugh at myself. I grew up anyway! I wouldn't say i'm extremely mature right now, but i'm over that phase. Cross my heart.
Lastly, I'm gonna blog about ICE CAMP OC's OUTING! I swear to god that ICE CAMP OC's are one of the best group of people i've ever met. How cool is grocery shopping together with the people you've known for only 1month but undergo all kind of shits together? Met up with the gang as AMK as we're going to nic's house for bbq. Went to fairprice Xtra! :D bought all sort of stuffs ranging from Stingray(come to think of it, i didn't eat that, nor the prawns, :( ) to Chips and sauces! I'm actually skeptical about that, cause we planned this thing like a day before, so i'm quite surprised that we actually manage to pull it off. I think i'm kinda high when we were grocery shopping because i really really liked doing this kinda of stuff!!! It's kinda like in a drama when you go grocery shopping pushing a trolley with your boyfriend and it's all sooooo romantic that makes you goes gooey in your heart. Yeah that, except that i went with a gang of friends and it didn't seem to matter that much to me and i still think it's fun!
& after that, we packed some food and headed for Nic's house. Bloody hell, his house is Big. Which is an understatement. But i shan't dwell on that because obviously i don't have a house like that. Met his dog-Dino! It's cute and all but i guess it doesn't really like me because "I am too aggressive". Laughs out loud. The really cool part was that it's trained and really up when i told him too, and even knows shake/hand!!! Oh my god!
Once we settled down, it's gaming time! Well, there's psp, there's guitar hero, there's Counter strike, there's Dota, and Monopoly deal! Being me, i settle down with Cs. Been so long since i've played. Honestly, i played quite lousily, but damin taught me some stuff, so i guess it's kinda cool!
Time flew past, so it's time to go and prepare stuff! Peeled the potatoes and made potato salad, but i didn't have that as well :( Got introduced to the lil' boy. Okay, i really don't know how to spell his name. It's pronounced as Mer-Thad-ius, i think. Oh shit. But it's okay. Cause i really really liked him. He's wayyyyyy cute. *wriggles fingers and hops up and down* I'll miss him!
Then someone started karaoke, so we started all singing~ The system is better than the school's, and the mic's is easily one of the best. What the hell really. And then we started bbq-ing and people started arriving! It's really crowded and warm and fuzzy. I like that! It's different from other bbq sessions when you feel so out and no matter where you go, you'll still feel awkward. And all you really do is to eat. It almost felt like bbq session with Yiyi and gang. Shared quality time with Mer-thad-ius too! We played ball, rocking chair, slide or whatsoever! I missed being around lil' kids. They made me feel alive. I'll let the pictures do the talking on Facebook once they uploaded it.
Had to go home earlier, kinda reluctant but oh well. This is quite a long post to me, and i'm so happy that i managed to finish it! Hurrays!
I really shouldn't let myself be caught in the past. What i am having now is the present, and i'm gonna give myself that. To let myself be free, i'm gonna have to think free as well. Not gonna let myself be caught up in a cage, at least til the holidays are over. Hurrays for freedom too!
Edited:
Never let myself get too close for fear of getting hurt. It's one of my principles in life. Unless i'm sure they'll stay forever, i'm not opening up myself to them. It's comparable to serving yourself on a platter to another, to be sliced open and stared at. It'll hurt, and it'll sting.
date/time Wednesday, October 06, 2010,5:59 PM
Wondering why we bother with love, if it never last.
Quite a mundane day today, went back school to settle for admin stuff for ICE camp. As usual, everyone was late. Makes me feel that i should actually wake up at 1030 and walk to the station instead of running. But well, i shouldn't really grumble so much cos' i'm always late as well.
And yeah, i have another blogpost, but currently have no mood to continue that. Dang, it was sucha a cheerful post.
Ohyeah, went to find ALYSSA for lunch earlier on and bought koi. The queue was ridiculously long. I mean, yeah, Koi is nice. But seriously? If you asked me to queue for it any other day, i won't. It made me think of the past when koi is nice yet not much people knew about it. I feel so selfish for saying that, but well, who cares. Oh, and Alyssa is actually xinni baby. LOL. I'm just trying to be funny.
Sigh. I actually am at a lost of what to do. I don't like being kinda depressed. I should go and sing some cheerful songs.
Random song to share, heard it again in Yingting's playlist. This song shall be my christmas song this year. Screw Britney's My only wish this year because though the lyrics express how i felt, my wish never ever came true. So screw that too.
Lyrics:
好冷 雪已经积的那么深 Merry Christmas to you 我深爱的人 好冷 整个冬天在你家门 Are you my snow man 我痴痴 痴痴的等 雪 一片一片一片一片 拼出你我的缘份 我的爱 因你而生 你的手摸出我的心疼 雪 一片一片一片一片 在天空静静缤纷 眼看春天 就要来了 而我也将 也将不再生存 好冷 雪已经积的那么深 Merry Christmas to you 我深爱的人 好冷 整个冬天在你家门 Are you my snow man 我痴痴 痴痴的等 雪 一片一片一片一片 拼出你我的缘份 我的爱 因你而生 你的手摸出我的心疼 雪 一片一片一片一片 在天空静静缤纷 眼看春天 就要来了 而我也将 也将不再生存 雪 一片一片一片一片 拼出你我的缘份 我的爱 因你而生 你的手摸出我的心疼 雪 一片一片一片一片 在天空静静缤纷 眼看春天 就要来了
I don't think there's much story to the lyrics except that it's just wishing Merry Christmas to the man She loves.
date/time 12:58 AM
Drowning in the sea of hurt.
Hi, it's really late now and i have a meeting tmr with ice camp oc. I guess my mood now is kinda moodless/feel-less? I don't talk much, i don't laugh, i don't feel. I guess i don't want to anymore, at least, for now. Hope i didn't actually offended anybody.
Remaining silent would be the best choice for now. Treat my silence whatever you want to. I don't care much. Because i don't feel the need to communicate, since you don't really care about how i feel, isn't it.
Her screams were unheard, her cries ignored. She's fallen now, not an angel. No one noticed she's drowning. So no one saved her. Or probably no one has ever bothered or thought that she ever needed to be saved.
date/time Tuesday, October 05, 2010,12:05 PM
Reflection
When i look me in the mirror, i see a sad, bitter face. Funny how one's mood/life changes in a split second.
I don't know how i should react to all of these. Usually after a good night's sleep, things appear to be much simpler. Despite so, i found myself refusing to wake up. There's so much pressure on me to be something i've been, when it's simpler when i myself want to be me. Being me, when faced with pressure. I chose to run.
A thought sudden came to me, and why i've fallen for him, years ago, and never looked back. He made me feel like me. And that's what love is supposed to be. Loving someone just because she is herself. If everyone found a somebody that love themselves for who they were, i don't think there will be any conflict, because you already have accepted them for who they were. You never fail to make my heart race.
When will i find my someone who feels the same way?
They don't really know the real me, i don't, too.
而沉默常常被误解成畏缩。
date/time 12:19 AM
Trust.
Sometimes i'm really glad that my blog is private. Because at times i don't know how to really communicate with others, and by writing it down, i guess i see the situation clearer and it actually helps calm me down.
I am calm now, because of the time spend away from those thoughts. But seriously, i don't understand. Why at any point of time someone, anyone, will expect me to change because of some bluddy friends i make? Am i a person that has no mindset of her own or whatsoever? Please, think. If i don't, what will happen, would happen 4 years ago. No point changing because I changed school. It doesn't work that way for me. I am sensible. Please, believe in me.
I don't wish to say it. But the thought that was running through my mind just now was Fuck.My.Life.
I won't change, not the worse. And i really need people to believe in me. I don't wish to lose myself, i'm slowly finding me. I need people around me to remind me who i am. I get comments like, Oh, i've known you for 5 years, and seriously you haven't change. Haven't i? Do you see me and think that way? Perhaps around you guys i haven't. Deep inside me, i changed. I wouldn't say i'm not as happy as before. Let's put it this way. I don't have everything under control anymore. And i find it hard to control everything by myself. Suddenly nothing seemed to go my way. Suddenly, everything seemed to be changing. And suddenly, it seemed freaking hard to control everything.
So i told myself, let go. It's okay. I was just trying to release the hold on myself before all hell break loose. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Me and my rantings.
I actually have another blog post not up yet. But this seemed more like my feelings. There's more actually, but i'll blog them up when it's time for them to erupt.
Trust is just like a mirror, once you break it, no matter how hard you try to fix it, it can never be the same.
date/time Friday, October 01, 2010,5:06 PM
Hi i'm back from camp! :D >Will post about that more next time! Meanwhile, wanted to share this classic fairytale's Beauty and the Beast's lyrics. Celine Dion's voice wins hands down totally.
Tale as old as time True as it can be Barely even friends Then somebody bends Unexpectedly
Just a little change Small, to say the least Both a little scared Neither one prepared Beauty and the Beast
Ever just the same Ever a surprise Ever as before Ever just as sure As the sun will rise
Tale as old as time Tune as old as song Bittersweet and strange Finding you can change Learning you were wrong
Certain as the sun Rising in the east Tale as old as time Song as old as rhyme Beauty and the beast.
It dictates true love perfectly.
PS: I don't know how to change my font to unCAP it. -.-!
