Seeking inspiration, motivation and …?

My thoughts are so scattered that I can’t even… probably have re-wrote this a few times and am still unsure of what to pen down.

Interestingly I feel that our brains do have the capacity to operate at higher rpm and when mine does, I feel so energised. 

I still remembered the amount of sleep I had after my Year 2 Sem 2 exams 🥲 

I slept during the car ride, during the flight, when I was on the yacht and when I was on the beach. I could’ve clocked 20 hours of sleep time/ day.

Gone were the days when I could sleep that much though. But then again, gone were a lot of days.

I don’t learn as much during little moments in life anymore. I pay less attention to my own thoughts and I feel like my day to day tasks took up so much of my brain capacity.

Now that it has slowed down, intentionally, I find myself ?bored…

But there are good changes as well. I pay more attention to the people around me whom I love and cherish. I guess i’m more selfish with my love and my time nowadays. 

Instead of pouring out unconditional love and effort that may result in naught, I find myself trying to balance other aspects of life. That is probably the best change I’ve seen in myself. 

On another note, thank you God for answering one of my prayers. I need to also make a mental note to pen down all of these to encourage myself. 

Thank you for sending a student who loves you just like I do. Thank you for giving her the words to lift me up through the discouragement. I have been feeling discouraged and unappreciated but the thank-you note couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. 

As I’ve once realised, sometimes God works in miraculous ways. Sometimes the person who heals you might not have to be the person who hurt you. But to forgive, just as how God forgave us and even sent His only Son to die for our sins so we could reconcile with Him.

So I pray that I’ll forgive and forget. But I also pray for God to protect my heart, for from it flows the springs of life. He is my protector and my provider. He knows what I need today, in the past and in the future. 

I also pray for wisdom to guide my steps. I think it’s time for a change of season but i’m not sure where God has meant for me to go. I pray that I’ll be sensitive to the Spirit and answer when He calls me. 

Thoughts:

It’s okay to feel upset.

It’s okay to feel lost in life.

Enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the goals - that’s right, I am very task and goal oriented.

It’s okay to put yourself first when others don’t - untrue, for God says ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’. 

Always put God first, ahead of yourself, ahead of everything, and all will fall in place. 

If you love God the most, you won’t think about being unappreciated or unloved. Because God loves you far more than you love Him. 

God is also my best comforter.

8 You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. (‭‭‭Psalms‬ ‭56‬‬:‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬)