and feel like it's a new start. Yesterday's troubles seemed so far, yet they still haunt me.

I tried not to let it bother it, it didn't. It just sneaked up on me at moments when i'm not careful enough.

Tweetsmoveon, ispeakfemale, and quotes__x have some awfully wonderful quotes that really tells what you're feeling! <3

Anyway, today have been pretty alright. Managed to badger bro into carrying my laptop for me cos we went out together. Heehee. Yay for a bro! ^^

When it matters so much that it hurts, eat some chocolate and icecream. It helps! Since i-d-k when, i started eating chocolate AND ice cream when i'm sad. It must be both chocolate and ice cream, or it doesn't work. And no, not chocolate icecream.

I am so particular!

Right, exams are approachinggggggggg, so imma mug hard. Really liked my mac, cos it's so quiet and the aircon is not too cold. Hearts max. Though i shouldn't wear a dress and go without a jacket!!

Til then~

tonight is the night when i found out everything that i thought to be weren't true. i cant accept the fact that everything was just made up by me, when i already tried to convince myself of that countless of times.

damndamndamn.

and you know what's worse? feeling as if you're being crushed by a 100tons of weight. til you couldn't breathe. til you feel like you're dying. was this the legendary heartbreak?

it couldn't be. cos i was never in a relationship right?

perhaps i made the fairytale a lil' too real, and let it last, a lil' too long.

shit

4 years. and maybe, everything ended 3 months after we met. i'll never know the reason why, and it just kills me.

i can finally understand why heartbroken people feels like it's the end of world. hell, it feels like that now.

i feel like banging my head on the wall, for being so freaking hell stupid.

flove. yeah. why didn't i check it up earlier on!!!!!!!!!!!
the urge to cry, imma bawling my eyes in hope for a better tomorrow.

OHAYO!

ah damn, today's a not-so-good day! :( Bought chocolates for myself tho.
Sigh, microbio.. trust me to like it soo much! I shall choose Med Tech then. :)

Just realised when i blog it's all about the unhappy stuff! But it's good cos then i'll be happy when i just trhow all my unhappiness into the blog.

Anw! Chose Medtech. Research and medtech were on par, til i realised it's always been you who's compromising! So yeah, i am gonna too!

Found out that it bloody hell matters, when i thought it didn't. Been so freaking long. Haven't I got over it?

And i'm actually wondering if it's me who made it all up. Also, started thinking about the What-could-have-beens.

A side of me, the not-so-refined part feels like ripping their hair off, yet the other feels like laughing at them. God.

But it's as if you don't even care.
Cm'on, move on, stop leeting it affect you. Perhaps one day it won't matter.. I shall start wishing for that day to come.

Screw that urge to click your name. -.-

YOOHOO!

Well, it's been quite a fulfiling day today! I feel so satisfied when i studied well! Hmmm, quite different from when i have to rush to study. Should i study periodically? But i feel it's quite useless, cause i probably wont remember what i actually studied. Sigh. Maybe I should allocate more time in advance to studies! Right!

Anw, momma and daddy's back! Heehee! Went to have dinner just now! Found an old coffeeshop that sells awesome and fresh seafood! :O

I had the whole plate of cereal prawn to myself!! I am nice tho, i shared with mama, daddy and bro! :D Plucked for them somemore!
Fish was awesome too! Boss said it was fresh from the fisherman. Me likeit lots (Y)

Heard some conversation just now, and made me feel so irritated.

I dont get why some people seemed to think that education means EVERYTHING, and without, it's gonna be the end for you.

Screw that.

Sorry to disappoint you, but my daddy didn't study that much yeah. But he managed to set up a business by his own means, with the help of my mum, whom also ain't good at studying, so they say, and we're living well enough on our own.

So who's that smart ass who set the rule that if you don't have a bloody cert or education, you're doomed and never can succeed in life.

Though I know in this mercenary world, that a cert can get you somewhere, but i'm sure it may not the place that you want to be at.

So for me, i chose to go the path that i want, and i like. This way, when i have to push myself to go on, i can tell myself it's for me, and me alone.

Please don't irritate me anymore and keep asking me what do i want to do in life, and what should i do.
To be honest, it's none of your business, and probably more of my parents. If they let me be, why should you care?

Okay, end of rant.

Anyway, i'm supposed to be studying now, but i don't really have the feel today. Screwed up my biological clock by waking up late, having breakfast late, and pushing everything back. Sigh, but i ate alot for today! Mad happy. Missed my ahma's cooking! & watched Mrs PI for the whole of today. It's one hell of a show, cos i like apple hong!

Gotta keep reminding myself that's life is short. I should stop worrying and start enjoying.

One of my greatest wish is to own a house in the suburbs or a farm somewhere that has 4 seasons, with lots of kids and pets. I added a meadow into the picture. So when it rains, i could run in the rain without a care. Thought of that that day when i was waiting for my bro to fetch me. Was feeling frustrated cause i feel that sometimes in life, i worry too much. Worry about falling, worry about my laptop spoiling cos of the rain, worry about catching a cold. I should really loosen up.


Which brings me to worrying about the future. Well, i shouldn't. But it's hard not to. Which is also why the reason i feel the need to think. You're not worried, should i be? Argh.

Yoohoo! It's been so long since i've last posted! Alright, anyway, life's good for me, at least, it's passable~

I like randomly going to my mac and study! Makes me feel so motivated, but sometimes really have no time. Sigh!

Gonna haveta start mugging! Go for it everyone!

PS: xmas's coming! ^^

I don't know why am i so pissed or upset today.

Maybe it's all the work bugging down on me.
Maybe it's becos realising that, i've been trying so hard, yet some don't even seemed to care.
Maybe, just maybe, it's because even though i've wished so hard, yet nothing ever come true.

So sick of today. Started off with people being late, then not helping much even though it's a group thing.

I get pissed when it's supposed to be a group project, yet only a few is doing all the work.

Then got chased by the bloody management. Screw today. Screw Ideas. Screw everything.

HELLO PEOPLE! YAY!!

It's so near to christmas!! Christmas shopping! woohoo!!

My christmas playlist:

Xue ren
My only wish this year-Britney
All i want for christmas
Santa baby
Last Christmas- Taylor swift's version.
Jingle bells
Let it snow

Alright, whatever.
The whole of hilary duff's and taylor swift's christmas songs!!!!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS! WARM AND FUZZYYYY. HEEHEEEE!

Anyway, this week is crazy, cos i have bloody lots of reports and data sheets :(

BYE!

Hello people!

In a greeeeeeeat mood after my 2-day shopping spree! Still love shopping with my mummy most! Not hesitating and just grabbing and go!

Can't wait for Hongkong already!

Alright, was feeling pretty upset on friday. But cheered up on Sat! I shouldn't be thinking that much.

Bro told me last night, i can't change you.

Anyway, shopping at Orchard! Damn awesomeeeeeeee. Bought tops from berksha, and pull and bear! Then grabbed Yoghurt and continued to Paragon. Went into Miumiu, my wallet's still prettier. But still thinking if i should sell it. Why do i need so many wallets for? :( Sigh.

Then queued to go in Lv. Momma wanna buy the slingbag that she missed in Paris. But didn't see the one that she want. I'm sooo going back to Taka to shop for Christmas stuff!

Then went cine to get tickets, but it's either sold out, or selling fast. Changed of location and went to Vivo instead.
Got tickets to RED at 11.15.

Bought my phoneeee! Xperia x10. Damnnnn pretty and love it totally. Only bad point is the msging part. Cos it's quite large, so it's hard to msg now. :(

Started shopping again! :D Went into fox, saw the hoodies and sweaters i like that's on sale!! But momma said it's last season. So i were saying, YAH! THEN CHEAPER WHAT. Then she say, what for, then you keep til next year end then wear, how many seasons you want!! Laughs out loud.

Waited for daddy to come, and had dinner at Putien. I wanted to let them try Kim Gary's. But they still prefered Putien. Oh well.

Walked around somemore. Bought a Capri pants and high waist shorts @hypnosis. Then slacked at Starbucks til time for movie!!

Movie had no subs, so mommy and daddy didn't get it. Explained to mommy after the show ended and daddy had to cut in and say,

Actually i know one, i just let meimei tell you only.

LOL.

Then today, went to Anchorpoint to have brunch and shop! OHMYGOD. Seriously, the place is a gold mine. All the outlets shops like billabong, cotton on, charles and keith, pedro, selling damn cheap please!! Cotton on shorts @5 bucks!

Bought a bohemian-styled white dress :X hahahah! hope i will wear it! & a pretty dress!! Both @30bucks! Belt @5.40, god, like Bkk!!

I'm so going there again!

Went to Ikea and looked at cupboards, but none suitable :( Momma wanted to eat the chickenwings damn badly, but i didn't want to :X

Took shuttlebus to Tiongbahru plaza, and trained to Imm. Met with daddy and bro for Dinner @ Ajisen!

Bro was damn high and cheerful after his lunch with his subbers and got his hoot album and poster. Keep telling how he had a hunch that the album he chose have taeyeon, and indeed he got her. -.-

Droved home! :D

I'm gonna configure my phone, do my tuts and prac and admire my clothes now!! :P

Since sooo long since i blogged about my day!

Currently listening to Jay's songs. Though i still don't like him very much, i gotta admit his songs are classic. Sigh. I miss the times so. Each and every of his past songs reminds me something of the times i had. Be it in Primary school was Jasmine, Kailin, Alicia, or with my cousins, who were his die-hard fans.

I should really stop watching bloody touching MVs and making myself emo.

Anyway, I had a wonderful day today i guess. Went to school for 1.5hr of Math lecture cum tutorial, cause i never understood anything she's teaching. Was doing my own tutorials throughout. Was distracted, by what i don't know, cause i spent like 40 mins doing two questions!

Then went T11A to discuss ideas for Ideas project. ._. Sigh. Extra burden seriously. Went Mobs with dear to play pooool. Teehee, i love playing pool with dear cause i always can get the ball in! She's my lucky star! Went to have lunch at Fc4. Ya know, we went there at like 12.15, waited for seats and queued til 12.45. And there i were, totally oblivious to the fact that i'm gonna be late for GEMS, til dear came rushing over with my food, and told me to hurry up. She's more worried than i am! Aw.

Wasn't late for GEMS, but it was boring today! To be honest, i don't see how she can be an etiquette teacher, cos her dressing style ain't so good either. But, maybe what she sees is different from us. Kay was pretty upset, cos she'd lessons after GEMS.

After GEMS, settled stuff for Xmas event! I can't wait for xmas seriously! Woo! Then met with Mandyyyyyyyyy @ JE. That nooobz girl! I didnt realised that she was on the other side of the station, so i called her after walking around for 2 times. Then she just told me to get one the train. So i did, and was thinking where is she, til she msged me with a "Right in front of you". I -.- rightaway!

Ate udders! & chatted, walked around and took photos~ Been so long since we just sat and talked. Not that long actually. But well, you get what i mean.

No, i don't feel like touching my phone for the rest of tonight, msn neither. Seems like twitter is the venting hole for me, apart from my blog. The different sides of me.

There are days when nothing seemed to matter. Dumb things could happen and nothing seemed to matter.

And then, there are days like this, when everything seemed to matter and i become so darn bloody sensitive.
When i feel like you don't care.
When i feel pissed at something others have done.
When i feel like i don't matter.

And when i finally put it down. It came back to me.

Why do people segregate stuff like Yours, Mine, and not ours? Whatever happen to being together? Whatever happened to respecting other's opinions?

It's hard to really draw a line between responsibility, and stepping over.
I don't wish to be termed as irresponsible, but i get the feeling like i'm overstepping.

And just when i'm feeling darn down about all these, someone told me "Thats probably why people like me and ** loved you as a friend in the first place" ,"You were always so happy in sec school, or rather you didnt let the sad stuff bother you".
Hi, i don't know if you'd ever read this, but if you do, just know that i really do miss you and the rest. I never doubt you or anything before, even if you were an ass. Simply because you're you too.

I'm thinking about alot of stuffs currently. Had alot of heart-to-heart chats with people and they really offered me great advice. Kinda weird, cos i never used to do that with people. It's always me handing out advices.

I've realised that sometimes people aren't bad. It's just that you can't really communicate with each other. Communication counts alot, if you're building a true friendship. I'm not saying those fleeting friendships, i'm saying one that you can keep for years and years to come.

If you met a person that you can't see eye to eye, yet you'll have to face that person cause' of some reasons, what would you do?
Dear told me that sometimes, if people can't click, you'll just have to avoid that person. Not saying you'll have to totally ignore that person, it's just that lesser communications means lesser friction.

I should learn how to stop caring what some people thinks, whom don't really care. Hell, there are others who really truly cared. Why should i spend useless time trying to hang on to someone who don't care?

After everything, i still find it hard. There's so many obligations, and too little me.
I'm sorry for not going home with Cy the whole of last week, when she told me, i felt really guilty for that whole day.
Sorry cos i felt that i neglected dear too much, i know cos it's obvious.

Some people matter more to me then others do. & when they don't care, it kinda feels 100x worse. Though it's probably because of my own actions.

Chatted with Zoe sweetie on that day. She told me something that i found it really true. You'll have to try to see if it works out. If it does, then you continue, you might realise he's the one. If it doesn't, that's what breakups are for. And that, through relationships, i can understand myself more. Lastly, she told me to follow my heart.

And today, told queen that it's so scary, taking the first step without knowing where it leads. Worse of all, i don't really know what i want. She told me if i dont take this step, i won't ever know what i want.

I guess i have alot to think about tonight. First, get it into my head not to be so sensitive, and stop trying to please everyone. No one can ever do that.

Hi hi hi!

Feeling pretty cheerful today, without any reasons! I missed days like these! I'm so gonna have more days like this, i swear. Not gonna let anything get me down.

Alrighttttttttttttttttt. Met up with Cy and Flo early today though there's no MicroBio prac. On a side note, if i'm gonna have to draw bloody puny-sized bacteria every single thing we have prac, i'm seriously going to bang the wall and die on the spot. No need to torture myself.

Yeaa, anyway, met up for Cell Bio. Oh bloody. Flo was early though! Quite surprised, must be Cy and my reminders! Progress pretty good. Did research and allocate tasks. We randomly scattered the papers for the slides on the table, and gotta snatch randomly. So Cy was the first to toss the papers, and when flo chose, cy just grabbed that and refused to let flo take it. I was totally dumbfounded please! So in the end i was the middle man, and toss the papers. Flo snatched the paper damn fast and in the end got the most slides. So unlucky, but cuz' it's florence, so it's acceptable. Teehees.

Went to starbucks to slack afterwards. Should spend more days like these just slackin around and chatting. Realised suddenly that we have no more time to hand up our datasheets, so rushed it out. & rushed to class.

Spend like 10mins waiting for the bloody lift alright! Hate the lift at T14. God. After reaching 7th storey, which is precisely the reason why we didn't climb the stairs, we(cy and me) squeezed out of the lift which is pretty packed, with two guys in front of us, blocking the exit. As we were heading towards the classroom, suddenly flo gave a shout. Then we realised that flo dropped her starbucks on the floor. Damn embarrassing for her! For whatever reasons we don't know, cy and i started running away. Laughs out loud.

Well, after that 3hours of IO chem really suck. Was using my itouch throughout. Suddenly it made sense to me why some people pon class. Cause even if i go for lessons, i wasn't listening. Waste of time. Sigh.

Seriously gonna get my act up after this week. Gotta start paying attention to class!

Went home after school ended!
Momma's finally cooked dinner. So mean please. Bro purposely asked her to buy chicken when he knows that i can't take chicken cuz' i'm coughing.

So ass. But dinner's awesome cuz' it's been so long since we had dinner.
Funny stuffs that happened:

Woke daddy up for dinner, and i screamed, "Wake up now, if not we eat all your food already." Then ahma was like, No lah, of cos we can't finish it. So i replied, I know! But you don't wake him like that, he sure won't wake up one. And true to my words, he appeared in less than a minute.
Tsk.

Then cuz' daddy also got affected by me and is coughing alil', so mommy kept telling him, chicken not yours, you can't eat. Then he kept sulking, while mommy keep asking Bro if he still wants Drumstick.

Lastly, i told daddy then we friends, so must share, so he should give me half of his drumstick. Then he don't want to answer me, and just take a bloody big bite out of his drumstick.
I rest my case about my family being mean.

And my last resort was, that i give him one of my corn, and he give me half of his chicken, and he said, You crazy ah! I then don't want your corn. I want my chicken.

Sigh.

To top it off, i had to eat water chestnut, so i made a deal with momma saying that i don't eat corn and eat chestnut, cuz' bro had to rub it in and said chestnuts is good for my skin.

SO THOSE THAT I DON'T LIKE ARE GOOD FOR ME, AND THOSE THAT I LIKED AREN'T GOOD HUH!

Then momma started complaining that i am very troublesome, eat dinner must exchange here, bargain this and that.

So bro said, Your daughter leh.

Then she said, No hor! Your daddy brought her back from rubbish bin. Only half daughter.

AND STARTED ALL THOSE NONSENSE! MEAN FAMILY~!!!!! T.T But i love them still! Aw!

Okay, i am pissed off with my drama cuz' i spend the whole of yesterday and tonight trying to load it, but it can't load. Screw it.

& oh, my new resolution is to sleep before 11 every night starting from now!! I can do it~