Just decided to publish the previous blog post cause its not so raw now. I dont feel like im picking at anything anymore.

So, life's pretty awesome now, despite being quite busy with work and going out. Took a well deserved break at bintan a week ago and it was like a refreshing holiday, and of course helping me to regain balance, my qi, chakras whatnots lol.

It was short but really relaxing cause it was slacking all the way, by the poool, by the sea, by the beach. It was enough to just sit and listen to the waves splashing onto the beach, feel the seabreeze and enjoy the feel of sand. And those miny sand bits are a pain to get rid of. Woes of fine sand.
Something in my heart tugs everytime i think of me being able to wake up near the beach, waking up to sounds of waves washing up the shore.

So anyway, it felt even better partially because work is... great. It sounds even weirder but yeah, in a way, i guess its not too bad. The pay is great, the job scope is awesome (when im doing phlebo and not ECG), and the hours not too shabby, it could start a little later but k, waking up earlier is healthy. And not to mention the colleagues there are pretty awesome especially at tpy since i knew them for pretty long.

So what do i actually mean.. hmm. Just felt like its prrssing down on me. Even though i really like the job, talking to patients, and trust me, i do talk alot, but waking up everyday to go to work. That kind of commitment seems tiring.

Then of course i had to have a life apart from work, so i have been going out for most days after work, and i end at 4. So it makes perfect sense. Then i go home at about 10plus which doesnt, cause i have work at 8am.

The latest example would be me only staying at home for approx 8hours from friday morning to saturday night. Went to work, reached home at 11 cause i went out with the girls for dinner at 49seats and then went to work on a sat half day and went to town before catching a movie at night. This doesnt make sense.

And stuffs are so unconfirmed right now for uni after the horrifying application period.
I dont know what would i choose should i get the mohh thing. Uk, sg or aussie?
Stupid to apply for everything and choose after that. I dont know if i could stick to a job for 6 years for a bloody bond and not go crazy. I guess my mum knew me better than i did.

Course i could force myself to do the bond if i wanted to. But is it worth it? Do i want to? Will it makr me happy? I need to decide with opinions that doesnt carry other own thoughts for their own purposes. Its not selfish, just not selfless.