Was thinking about that when i was showering today. I think i'm weird. Thought-provoking questions always pop out in my brain at the weirdest time ever. Before bed-time, when i'm showering. In any case, it would be the time when i can't blog about it. And i wanted to, so desperately, cos i wanna remember my own thoughts. Yeah, it may seemed stupid, but i can't remember such things.

Thus, smart me invented a way to remember these things. I figured out that since i am able to conjure those reasonings out, i must be able to, a second time. So i just had to remind myself of what those thoughts are all about. And tadah! A quote!

Okay, it sounds ridiculous, but who cares. As long as it works. I'm kinda enjoying such self reflections thoughts. Lets me know myself better.

Anyway, yeah. Realised that i'm actually really afraid of failure. And that is probably why the reason why i dont put in my best in everything i do.

Thinking back, that's pretty true. I didn't put in my best in studies. Becos for me, it's all or nothing. If I started with it, i better end it well. Since i can't stop studying, i chose to half-heartedly study, so i don't feel sad if i tried my best and didn't get the results i want. But then i realised that, even if i didn't give my all, i still expect the results i want, and if i don't, life suck. Simple as that.

Same goes with dance. Cos i knew i wasn't the dancer type. Hell no, hence i never even tried to put in the effort. When at last i did, it wasn't consistent. My performance is still affected by my emotions.

Then i found out that even if i tried my best and didn't get the results i expected, i still feel great. Hehs, at the same time, i found out that my willpower is (Y). So, i'm gonna put in 100% in whatever i do, irregardless of the results. Heck it.

Maybe not. But a good start is half the race finished, i guess.

I've been feeling a great deal lately. But i'm still coping, life's still goes on. Trying not to let stress overcome me, doing mundane stuff like painting my nails and something else to rest my brain, even if it's just for that few minutes. It's no longer a waste of time, but time for me to rest my brain and plainly, not think.

Happy stuffs going on are friends that matters a great deal aren't neglected, and family's awesome. Oh, and i'm eating very well these few days. (Y) Spammed chips and chocolate like mad. Mommy's pretty happy, cos at least i'm eating up stuff that's been left at home for goodness knows how long.

Lastly, i'm learning korean by myself! Started the first chapter today. Learned basics about how the sentence structure is formed in korean. Kinda worried that i'll screw up my own english first, when it already that noob. Sigh.

Annyeong!