The crazy week is finally over, and it's soon gonna be replaced by another crazier week. 20% quiz on Monday and a 35% assignment due on the last day and in between all of this I need to really really start studying.

Was so overwhelmed on Thursday during observation cause it was the first time we went up to the nicu/picu to check on bedside patients. But whatever I have been expecting, it wasn't that.

You know the feeling when your heart clenches so bad, your eyes start to twitch like when you're chopping onions, and you suddenly became acutely aware of your surrounding? It's like when your blood flows all the way out and maybe to my brain and my skin tingles the entire time I was there.

Whatever is it that we are doing, I don't know if it makes a difference, but it's never enough. It's never gonna be enough because nothing can ever erase the memory of seeing your child on a hospital bed, fighting for her life. You fighting for her to live, for her to respond. I want to say that hope is the only thing stronger than fear. Because apart from hoping, there's nothing much to be done except to be there, while that fear is overwhelming.

Forcing myself to remember it, to think about it so I would remember why I do what I want to. Even when it's not enough. Remember that heart clench. Remember that hope is stronger than fear. And remember that people break when that hope is gone. Don't ever let anyone break.