II keep telling myself that this js how its gonna be, any time diwn the road. I wont always have people around me. I need to get used to this.

Looking at the babirs photos, when, can i create a miracle like that?

you keel saying youre boyfriend material, but im nkt looking for a boyfriend.. realised the thing that was lacking. Its just a promise that i could trust. But i cant.
Because youre still not what im looking for. Tonight i got it. I need someone who will be there for me, whenever. I need someone who puts me first. Youre not kim tan, im not  your cha eunsang. You have the world in your hands and youre reaching out for more. But all kim tan ever wanted was for cha eun sang to be his world. You cant do that. Not Even for me.
And if it already hurts so much knowing that, how much more would it hurt, when it ends?

You still dont understand me. How could i ever love, when it takes so little for me to get hurt?

I dont wanna need you. But im not sure if i could settle for being contented again. Thrre was once in my life when i thought being contented was enough for life. I forgot about being ezhilarating happy. I missed that.

I just cant understand how can two so vastly different people can be so attracted? To the point that we would try to make it work. I dont see how could it. Not becos i dont have the feelings, but because i dont trust. Sigh. Its so diificult.

Youre stepping back because i am. Part of me feels relieved but part of me feels sad. Because it shows you wont fight for me. It shows much how i mean to you.

Why dont people speak from the bottom of their heart, i wondered?

Because i dont either. You'll feel so vulnerable.

I know youre trying, its not in you to try. But cant you see its not me in to, as well? Im trying too. But i guess trying our best is still not enough.

Thinking til ny head literally hurts. I cant find a way out. Steo back while you can. Im not sure if i can. I dont wanna think anymore. I feel a freaking huge headache  i dont wanna feel i dont wanna hurt i dknt wanna cry.

The joy comes at a price i know. Life is not oerfect  but is it worth it. I feel so weak so vulnerable so inconsolable that i ddnt want it ahymore. Maybe ill settle for being content. Maybe incould even when i used to have so much more. Becauee now the stakes are too high.

I can thinj of a thousand reasons why we shouldny be tgt. But theres only one reason why i should be. And now that reason isnt happening. You made me happy. But i still want you tk make me happy.

The gulf of differences is widening. So wide that the doubts are increasing. Youll never understand. And youre not trying. Doesnt the right one diminishes al the doubts?

Dont you see? This, is the problem. Theres no us. We dont share. Thats exactly it.