It's been so long since I indulged in a long and good post. That and a thought provoking one. Time flies recently. And I'm left with less than 3 months before I leave.

People are so complex, and sometimes we say things that we don't mean,thinking that the others know that we don't. But they don't. Because 'when the truth gets hard to take, we start believing the lies'.

I used to think that if you know me, you should believe in me, and the things that I would do, wouldn't do, would say and wouldn't say. I still do. Though it's not in me to hurt intentionally when I say something I don't mean, I think I still did sometimes.

So many aspects of my life that I should be analyzing about, thinking of what I could have done better and what I could have done more but I don't feel like doing all those. Time is slipping by and every moment wasted is a moment I can never get back.

That is why I don't waste any time in doing anything I want. But I am wasting time, if deciding to or not takes longer. There's been lesser time for myself and my books since I started working cuz the every single day I am interacting with people. It makes me tired sometimes, when I don't feel like it when I needed time alone. Everywhere seemed to be filled with people. I can't think with people around, I feel. So I'm feeling confused because I'm interested when I shouldn't be.

Anyway Nelson Mandela passed away on the 5th Dec. I didn't know him and i feel like I missed out on this great man. When someone dies, every thing they did will be magnified. He made a difference and I chanced upon this quote of his

'I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. ' 

This is so so so true. I can never put it as accurately myself as he did. Even mommy and daddy doesn't understand that when I say you can't fear this is what I meant. I said can't, but that doesn't mean that you don't. You just can't let it overcome you.

It will be stupid if you don't fear after all. Fear is what make us strong. I once read about this genetically modified super human who can't feel fear. Fear is not an emotion that he knows. It works for him in some, but in others, he has to learn to fear, that is when he recognize danger.

But apart from all of these deep musings, my life is cool right now. Just had captains ball yesterday, I really really like team sports. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins even though I didn't help much cause this girl was blocking me throughout. Sigh. 

It's the twinnie's bday today so YAY to the world but I have to wait for one more week before I can watch heirs again. Sigh. Life is so complicated hahahahahha