#1 宁愿自己痛，也不愿说出让自己不开心的理由。不愿把事情说穿，不愿承认自己的失败。
There i said it out, there lies the cryx of the problem. I was putting up the signs yes. Becos i dont want you to get closer. Becos i would hurt because i know i would be the choice. It freaking hurts. No co flict of interest, but thats just me. I need that.

#2 因为已经打开新房了。不能当作不在乎，也不应该 。说服自己爱，是足够的 。

#3 the need to be the only one. Thats all i ever wanted. 心是痛得，好像不能呼吸。

#4 i am exceptionally good at one thing- hiding my emotions.