Because that will be showing that i'm weak.

I don't allow myself to think past the day when it's school term. I don't wanna get panic attack. Sigh. I miss the normal days already.

Today was a bad day, so i'll treat it like it's over. I can't do zen. Frustrated. And i had to lose stuff again. I hate being careless. I really could just lose myself someday, or maybe i had.

And maybe i was right, i didnt like it when i'm being obvious. I like to rant on my grounds.

Something's missing. I care even when i'm upset.

And i remembered why am i so upset today. I almost forgot. Wonder if i should be happy or sad bout that.
You could have avoided saying bout that, but you had to. Harmless cause you didn't know, but it struck a cord.

I got reminded how selfish human beings can be, sacrificing others for research. That's probably one reason why i wouldn't do research. How would you like it, if one day you were the lab rat for some others? If you really wanna develop something that benefits all humans, do it on humans. Animals are living things too. Jeez. Now i'm pissed and upset.