---UPDATED---


Think i'm suffering from post-drama trauma. Cant stop replaying osts.

Work is fun today cause it's the first day with siti and crystal, til doxycyline kicked in. I rlly hate the nausea. ._.

Johnathan(?) came down too but i never worked with him before. Pretty interesting cause we seemed to be like having a party.

--

It's raining and i like it. Why is the sea so far when i needed it? It takes alot to leave the sea if you grew up with it. Thankgod i didn't, cause i'm missing pacific ocean already. Regretted so much that i didnt bike down on days i feel so bored cause i'm lazy to. Then again i didnt feel bored for many days over there cause everything there somehow seemed more chill.

It seems so mucb like a dream that i was afraid that i will forget. I dont wanna ever to forget cos it was a really special part of me.

I felt complete. I miss bear. That brings me to whether i should adopt. i could probably persuade mum, but im thinking if i should. bear's different. the rest were always at home be it rils, jack or elaine. If i were to adopt one, he'll probably feel bored at home cos i'm always out. And i cant go overseas anymore. I would give that up if i really did adopt. But i dont want to resent my dog. I dont know if i will. worries worries worries.

I miss walking bear, talking to him about my day at the lab, telling him about how i feel. It feels as if he understands. 

But walking a dog doesnt make you his owner. Being responsible makes you one. And god knows how much i hate responsibility. 

I dont feel like growin up tonight. When the thunder strikes and the rain falls, i feel like leaving the world alone and live in my own world.

Read the news about the sue or smth court case. I ever wanted to be a lawyer, but today i thought i didnt wanna deal with that. That's not the cases i envisioned myself fighting for and i know that in this world, sometimes you gotta do something you dont like to survive.

So for today i went back to my dream of being a kindergarten teacher living in their world. Because i still have a choice. I could choose to forsake my dream of helping needy people to make myself happy. But when one day, maybe tomorrow i wake up, id feel stupidly noble and want to do my best for justice.

Capricious. 

Mum and daddy going genting tomorrow morning while i have fyp. And then gonna go cousins house. Chose family over clubbing cause i just dont feel like clubbing. Sigh

Perhaps thats for the better. Maybe it will get better. Because i want it to.

Suddenly it feels like my lifes in a mess while others look so content with life.

I need life, i need excitement. I hate to repeat myself, but i missed travelling.

The invisible strings called family.

Reminiscences ----

San Francisco

I wasnt sure if the trip could be made, cause it was sucha impromptu one. Of course, robertsons have been discussing of how the hell do they wanna go there, flight or drive. If drive how do they pick brookie up and all since brooke's at northern cali it's like a roundabout.

And somehow we got thia crazy idea to hitch a ride to this exciting city that we have never ever been to, all by ourselves.

Now that i think back, i must have hell of a courage to have no doubts. I wasnt thinking of safety at all. Sorry. I was worried if i am able to go.

Then elaine was considering since it would mean that they'll have to wait for us and jen's party is on sat but somehow things just clicked when tuanlin let us off on fri for the weekend tho sy still went back and i slept in >< and riley said he had school too. And so they decided to fetch brooke after dropping us off at sf.

The day finally came and we packed happily. Really. I really wished i had the pictures. Once i fixed my stupid screen ill upload them.. i swear. (No need wish cos i'm adding the photos! :p)

HAPPY IS MEEEEEEEE. Dressed in tee cause the car's gonna be humid.See the thickass coat.

Working now to earn back shinee concert tix, us fees, specs fees and repair for computer. Wont be enough but im trying. Thanks to the stupid website that sold me substandard screens. Even changing the cracked led myself doesnt work. :(

Riley's driving hahah, Took the pic for sy cause she's sitting directly behind him and she cant take it!

Anyway, excited us travelling from san diego to sf passing by l.a and at that time we havent went to l.a yet. It was the longest car ride of my life. Like 8 hrs. Sf is 640miles away. Trvalling at 80miles/h. You cant get any more accurate about travelling time in the states.

Excited Saeyeohhhh :D

Fell asleep some, stare out of the window some, listening to country music and having sandwiches elaine made. Even that was enjoyable. actually i must admit i slept more than i was awake. It just happens.

Picture that doesnt do justice

But i still caught some beautiful scenery. But then again everything is beautiful there.

I still never knew if you did it out of consideration or coincidence. But it didnt matter now.

Rils drove for 4 hours and elaine drove for 4 hrs and it waa night when we reach our hostel/hotel.

Its more of a boutique hotel and has a certain charm to it. Not the best not classy but it is good enough for me. So for the first night, we explored round the town, near nordstrom, and found cheesecake factory.

Say HI to the original SF Cal Apple store!

Cable car!

View from cheesecake fact which is on top of Macy's.

Wanted to order alcohol BUT minors :/

Actually it's freezing but

THIS IDIOT HEATER MAKES ME SO WARM AND THE WIND IS BLOWING NONSTOP.

So i took her my jacket and it was SO COLD. -.- Shouldnt have dined alfresco.

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