Yeah, you should continue doing that. Cause it makes things so much simpler.

I fear for what's gonna happen, not because it's unknown, as people usually does. The fear of not knowing what will happen, leading to mass hysteria. Probably a little too serious. But back to what's gonna happen, yeah.. I don't know how am i going to leave.

Well well, i finished the Biography already. So darn cool. All i can say is, no one's a saint, and no one's perfect. Jack Johnson definitely isn't, and he's not one to love as well. But once you get to know him, you'll admire him, and maybe, just maybe, respect him for his godgiven courage, to stand up for him and himself. To demand his rights, to erase the colour line. No, he just pretend it doesn't exist.

But despite his efforts, he's no saint. Whatever he did, he probably did for himself. He's not cruel, nor callous. He cares deeply for those he loves. He has 6 wives? 7? People may curse him for choosing white women, both blacks and whites do. Cause blacks hate him for not choosing black women, and therefore bringing shame to their own race being not good enough for him, and whites cause in that era, it's like a taint.

But for all the wives he had, all are willing to become his, and all of them, loves him. For who is he and each and everyone of them are willing to stick by his side even when he's down.

If that's not love, any kind of love, then what is love? How many, in this age, will uphold the marriage vows, till death do us apart, in riches or poverty, never leave you?

Not saying i met plenty of scums, but it's all i see on TV!

Back to him, yeah. He's pretty amazing fellow and one hell of a boxer. He has his faults but of cos, his merits. The reason why he has a biography and is famous, because he dares to be different, in an era when being different costs your entire life. He doesn't step back when he's facing the hatred of the whole of America, and even of his own. He doesn't, when he's being ostracized, when he's being cursed and sweared at, when he's in the dumps. He gets back up, and he proves that no matter who, if you have the determination, and wit of cos, you can fight your way to the top.

He suffered more than some crimminals did, he went to prison, he's being speculated and dissed by public, threatened, assaulted. It wasn't fair to him, but never did he once gave up.

And the lesson i learnt from the book? Never fall for a charming sweettalker.

I'm kidding again.

Is that, the rise to the top can be fast, can be as rocky as hell, can take a long time, and bull the crap about the faster you rise, the faster you fall. But once you're at the top, you can fall. Anytime.

Easily than how you went up. The slightest mistake can cause your fall, and what's so scary about that is, you don't know how deep you're gonna fall.

But what matters most, is standing up back on your feet, and move on. You can try to climb up, i'll admire you for your perseverance, or you could be content, and live your life the way it is, making the best out of it.

I know, it sounds so boring, typical, inserts whatever you like over here, but, how is trying to deal with all the shits life cast your way boring or dull? And for some people, who are shit magnets, sounds a little crude, but yes, it's true. Some people just can't have a non-happening life without all the minor screwed ups. So to deal with that, you gotta have wits, and determination. To make you yourself happy.

Some people searched forever, to be happy, but what they don't understand is, to be happy, they gotta want to be happy. They thought wanting to be happy means making themselves by satisfying their wants. How does being content sounds?

Some people get depressed, and i've always never able to understand their mindset. Then i accepted that some people are probably born to need so much more, then anyone can satisfy. They are lonesome, no matter how much love they receive, how much attention they get. They crave for noise and attention, and despise it. Death usually becomes comfort for them. And i hate it. Since when can death solve anything? Yeah, it frees you, but have you ever thought of people who loves you? People who tried so hard to help you, to try to make you happy, despite maybe throughout your whole life you're an ass. They love you cause you're you.

The reason for the above paragraph is because Etta, Jack Johnson's first official wife, and the one i think he loves most, committed suicide, highly plausible due to depression.

I was angry cause she didn't cherish her life. Then as i read along, i realised living on was hard for her. She was originally a lonesome woman, always needing more, always thinking. She's so sensitive, and when she married a black, she faced pressure from both races. Kicked out by her own, even her family, and ostracized by blacks, for "snatching their hero". It didn't help with her husband's infidelity. Yeah, he loves her, but all sports remain a sport. He did try to stop for her, and it wasn't enough. When her father died, it's as if something in her broke, and when her mother still refuses her, that something in her couldn't be repaired. I think it could be like a living hell for her. I cant imagine how it feels like.


There's so much more to life that i can sum up. Probably i'm trying to understand life a little too much.

When i was at Alacatraz, first thing that i felt was sorrow. The regrets of prisoners there, the longing, the darkness. It didnt scared me, but instead i felt a deep sense of lost.

"Is that my sister"

I cant believe i'm seeing her after such a long time. Seems like it's yesterday when she was just a kid in ponytails, and now she's all grown up.

He looks so haggard, like the years in prison wears him down.

"No one could hurt me no more. It's cold cause it's dead inside"

"In this dark little hole where everyone avoids, i call it home"


A sense of deja vu encompasses me. Somehow i felt as if i've written all of those excerpts before. I dont know if i really did, and misplaced it, or i've been thinking too much of the audio tour, which i remembered from. But the alcatraz tour is great, cause with the audiotour and the park they kept, it flooded the listener with its memories.

Guess i still haven't uploaded any pictures. :x But i really should sleep early cause i slept at 3am last night. Feel so deprived of sleep despite waking up at 12pm today!